My last day...

I shall no longer walk the ground I so much loved, feared, and needed, and must pass from this place in time on this, my last day.
I have triumphed and failed, truly laughed and truly cried, and am at this moment finding my eyes filling with tears as remnant emotions wash through me once again.
I am grateful to God, to my wife, to my fellow men's group members, and to all who have found it possible to open their hearts to me, no matter how little or much.
I am grateful that my family continues to visit, to communicate, to hug, and to recognize me as part of their lives.
Life does, and shall, go on as long their are mountains, trees and seas, and I love nature and God more than anything else, and have been blessed with much communion with both.
I ask only for eternal devotion to my higher power of choice, and wish all a wonderful last day...of 2006.
Until next year...may the road rise to meet you, and the devil not know you are dead until an hour after you are in heaven *:-)

Through the rough water, still afloat...

The toughest time of year for me is past. The period from December 15th through December 29th contains many swirling currents of doom that in the past I have been swallowed by. Through experience, and awareness, and remembrance, and good fortune, I was not drowned this year. So many emotional traps are presented by society and family during the holiday stress period that I become exhausted manuevering successfully through them. Enough of that *:-) I am well, and I did not do damage to anyone this year, and that includes myself. I did the best I could to help others achieve their holiday desires, and I am content and happy that it is so *:-)
Onward, once more into the breach my friends, for God and country *:-) (I love Shakespeare)

EOY, Happy Birthday, & More Blotter Stuff *:-)

"End Of Year" contains danger for my self-esteem. I am tempted to review the year and list all that I did not do, or did not do to the best of my ability. That is silly of course. I absolutely did the very best I could, and for me there is no value in reviewing the year at all, especially since the Federal Government will make me do it in April anyway *:-) So, bye bye 2006, I shall think of you no more (yes, I know there are still 2 actual calendar days left, but I am going to ignore them).
The winds of change have begun to pick up in the place I am employed. I can feel them, although no official announcement has been made because the company neither has the office open nor does any business over the Christmas and New Year holiday period. Already there have been a couple spurious emails arriving that portend meetings of significance in the first week we shall all be together in the office again. I shall work to find the courage and appropriate attitude to approach the changes that are coming with peaceful intent and integrity in my steps.
Today is a lovely day, with far less wind, no rain at all, and wonderful Sun shining. It is also my wife's birthday, which sometimes can be a difficult transition from Solstice and Christmas celebrations having just completed, and the New Year revelry just around the corner. I took a firm stance this year however, and I worked hard yesterday to make sure that all traces of Solstice and any other celebrations were removed, so that she can feel that this day is being lived just as a celebration of her birthday, and should contain only those experiences that she chooses, uncolored with any other holiday influence.
Here is a true entry from our local (very local) paper "Police Blotter" section, for your enjoyment:
"3:45 a.m, Monday:
A County Sheriff's deputy responded to a report that a man was burning a guitar on his car. When the deputy arrived, he reported finding that the 22-year-old man had used lighter fluid to burn his guitar on the hood of his car while it was parked on his own property. A report was taken but no arrest was made."
May each step we take find solid ground, and lead us to our intended destination.

Big Storm Comin'...so they say...

We have received a third warning on the radio that a "huge & windy" storm is about to hit. The same radio station has warned us twice before during the last week, and there has not been any rain at all, nor any wind. Maybe this time *:-) Just to cover us, I brought in enough wood for about 3 days, so we should be warm, even if the power goes out.
Slowly, slowly, and intermittantly, some energy is returning to me as the Sun begins its climb back to the heavens. I would enjoy being able to be exceptionally productive during this holiday time, but that isn't happening so far. Oh well, I trust that it will all work out.
I keep the full spectrum lights on even during the dreary day, to balance the lack of Sun, which helps. We use certified OTT lights, which provide true Sunlight. I visited John Ott's studio in Montreal, Canada, just as he was becoming famous for his time-lapse photography of how plants respond to different types of light. We have used OTT lights ever since they became commercially available, and we have one honker dual 300-watt light for when my wife needs to balance the colors in her weavings while the warp and weft are still on her room-sized loom.
May your path to the New Year be brightly lit, and easily followed *:-)

Christmas Day

Because my wife and I focus so much on Solstice, when she greeted me this morning with "Merry Christmas" :-), I had to stop for a moment and realize that today is the day when most Americans are doing the heaviest celebrating.
We, OTOH, will be traveling to our son's family home to feed their cats while they are celebrating at his wife's parents place *:-) They are nice cats, so no worries *:-)
I will stop in the office briefly today, and will also attend a community meeting tonight, wearing my goofy santa cap, so I guess we are celebrating Christmas Day too.
Have Fun everyone *:-)

Peace...peace on earth...peace in all beings

For a few hours, we were the center of the universe *:-) Laughter, love, and Solstice joy were everywhere. Thanks be to all higher powers for opening us all to those moments of light.
Today is a day of recovery for my wife and I, because we were honored to host the event this year. We have heard from some of those who attended, and they are happy to have been there.
Our granddaughter, just a little over one year old, and a first time visitor to the mountain home of her paternal grandparents (us), was a great guest *:-) Very cool little one. May many blessings come her way.
Enjoy *:-)

Housecleaning...real housecleaning...but not perfect housecleaning

A Winter Solstice gathering is planned for our home tomorrow, and so the process of rearrangement of furniture; moving excess "stuff" out to the invisible storage areas around the home, car & sheds; preparation of foods; laying in enough wood for the woodstove; planning and preparation of entertainment; creating safety gates for the "little one"; making a few clean windows, preparing "mountain clean" bathrooms (not perfect); preparing a very clean kitchen, and preparing to serve the truly inspired and wonderful food made by my wife (and the mother of some of the planned guests) in an attractive way, is going as well as we can manage, given that at this time of the year, with the Sun at its lowest, less energy is available to us. It will be nice to have everyone here for a little while.
For the last few days I have been "encouraged" to not eat in the areas I usually do, because, in the perception of my wife, I am a "crumby" eater *:-) Oh well, I can manage until after the Solstice gathering *:-)
Welcome Sun, I am glad you are on your way back *:-)

Hotel reservations...and local Police Blotter...

I admitted I was powerless over having to travel in 2007, and made my first two hotel reservations meaning long drives and hotel rooms. The sales team is out there finding opportunities and then my job is to train the clients in how to use our stuff. Although I have developed highly respected online learning tools for our clients, "they are still very old-fashioned and expect somebody to show up" according to our sales guys. I think maybe the sales guys are old-fashioned too, and like to give things away. No worries, its my job, and I will do it.
I have posted below some actual, factual and real stories found in the "Police Blotter" section of our local mountain community weekly newspaper. Who says living in the mountains doesn't offer entertainment:
#1: "At 1 p.m., a [local neighborhood] woman smoked meth an hour before meeting with her probation officer."
#2: "An 8:15 p.m. traffic altercation between two men on the 9000 block of ___ ___ ___ (the road and block we live on) ended when one of them fired a gun. The victim fled and was unharmed, but the suspect also escaped."
#3: "In a parking lot on the 6000 block of Highway [local highway], a furious driver rammed another man in the leg at 9:21 a.m."
#4: "A man broke through the front door of a [nearby neighborhood] house in the 200 block of ___ Way with a crow bar and an ax. He pinned the female resident to the floor and screamed death threats while waving his ax around. It was almost 9 p.m. when the cops came to pull him off her."
#5: "At 8:07 p.m., a man was rushed to the hospital after he fell unconscious at the Starbucks on the 200 block of ___ ___ Road. But doctors determined he was just very drunk."

...and that's the news from our part of the world *:-) Have Fun *:-)

Academic Training Officer

My new title *:-) I like it *:-) I love learning, and have managed to put together, with lots of help, some professional skill sets that let me help others learn also.

I am excited about my two new groups, one at my .mac account, and one on YouTube. I hope to invite others and to begin some excellent work there leading to professional quality Podcasts and Vodcasts. I just purchased my first iPod (video) to support this work, and plan to use my output to further clarify who I am and what is important to me. Lots of interesting places to go with this project. My first Vodcast will be about black squirrels, and will probably be about 2 minutes long. If it turns out, I will put a link to it here when I blog it.

Solstice get-together planning is consuming my lovable wife, and she is putting as much into it as she can. We are hopeful that our children will bring themselves (and their own children) up to our less than perfect home in the wooded mountains for an afternoon of sharing. My lovable wife is truly gifted as a chef and culinary artist, and has prepared her custom Bundt cakes and also the main course using tofu. She has earned the title we gave her of "Queen of the Bundts" *:-) Pere Noel is still scheduled to make an appearance, and if the weather is pleasant at all, we can all get some quality time on our very nice deck.

A Glimpse Through The Fog...

It is a little better in the work place today. Those that over-reacted and became emotionally wrecked by the events of last week have sent their emails of apology, and most of us are moving about almost normally, instead of expecting an IED to go off at any moment.
I believe the fear level is perceived as reduced, although it is my belief that the Biggy that was sent from headquarters to pour oil on our waters did only that, and couldn't care less what actually happens here. We have about 6 weeks until we find out what the "final solution" will be, and of course we all hope that someone who doesn't know anything about what we do is not the one making the decisions.

I am amazed at how much energy the world has devoted to documenting the life and times of black squirrels. I saw my first one about a month ago and am finding out there are actually cults devoted to the black squirrel. Good grief, Charlie B. *:-)

Have Fun *:-)

Sun! Sun! (that's why we don't live in Oregon anymore *:-)

Really nice and quite nurturing for us to be in our rooms as they fill with the spectrum of colors coming from the crystals (some motorized) that we have in the windows of the South and Southwest sides of our home. We loved Oregon for its closeness to and fullness with Nature, but there just was not enough sun to keep us balanced. When the kids came along, we got tired of seeing them having to be bundled up or waterproofed when they were outside during almost 9 months of the year. So, after getting some guidance from a good source, we packed as much as we could into our VW van (we had a total of 7 different VW vans during the, ahem, semi-hippie years) and set off for California, not having any idea of what would happen, or if we would stay.
We did stay, and have stayed, and hope to stay *:-)
There is enough breaking sun during even the most difficult and cloudy of times here that we can remain balanced and comfortable in trusting that warmth and light will return for longer and longer periods of time.
Solstice is coming up. Are you ready?
Rumor has it that Pere Noel is in the area and may be making an appearance, especially for the benefit of our granddaughter. We hope she doesn't get too scared by the unusually dressed fellow.
An amazing thing:
In my work, I have reached the point where Pod and Vod casting are going to be required in the course that I teach. So-o-o-o, being a loyal Amazon.com purchaser, and after first checking to see if Apple recommends any books on their site (they don't), I ordered "Videoblogging for Dummies", and when noticing the Author's name, Stephanie Bryant, a small click was felt in my brain, but not a strong enough one to cause me to do anything at that moment.
However, about 30 minutes later, when I was finished researching what I was going to buy to help me with Vod casting, my eye caught the link to Stephanie Bryant's profile. Guess what?
We know her! Fairly well actually *:-) She is a good friend to our son and we have been to parties and gatherings when Stephanie is present, and she also is a handspinner, and she and my wife, who is a fiber artist, have spent time sharing about that pursuit.
How cool! I know a published author who just put out a Dummies book! *:-)
It'll be neat to see her next time, and have a chat about the whole process. By the way, she is a very nice person, IMHO, and doesn't exhibit, at least in front of me, some of the characteristics that can make some authors onerous to be around.
Congratulations Stephanie! *:-) There is a link to Stephanie's Amazon Profile page on this post by clicking on the title.

James Bond Is Dead!...Long Live James Bond!

We loved it *:-) From the very first scenes to the end...we loved it *:-) Some of the scenes and scenarios are the best I have ever seen. Just the right amount of history & setting, just the right amount of contemporary staging & props. Thanks Barbara Broccoli for keepin' it alive.
Santa's Workshop (our local version) is keeping us busy, but we feel good doing it. We actually focus on Solstice ourselves, but of course nearly everyone else is focused on Christmas, so we do too.
I need to redesign the course I teach, and want to begin as quickly as possible tomorrow. The new version of the LMS is successfully installed, and so now I believe my work won't disappear once it is in place. New students are enrolling at about 6 per week, and now is the time for me to make changes.
There is a Canadian TV series, now available through Netflix, that I would recommend: "Slings & Arrows". Solid acting and believable characters, and some very funny stuff.
"Bond...James Bond"
*:-)

Whew, its over...

Ok then. A huge, and potentially disastrous software upgrade to the apps and databases that are the core of our business is complete, and all the bugs are fixable by our own team. It will be a bit tedious replicating the same fixes over and over throughout the apps, but who cares, the damn thing works *:-)
So...I can concentrate on getting enough firewood into the house to get us through what we are told is going to be a ball-chilling weekend.
Woodstoves ROCK *:-)
Have Fun *:-)

Been here, Did that, Gone now, Do It Yourself

Ok then...the biggies have come and gone, and by listening carefully, here is what I got:
1. The organization I am employed by will be permitted to exist, for now.
2. "We are watching", but take everything to the managers that are left, don't call us, we'll call you.
3. The managers who are left will be creating a team amongst themselves to run the company.
4. We are part of something much larger and are being evaluated to determine how we might fit in.
5. January 31st is when we will know what is really going to happen.

Between now and then: Have Fun *:-)

High Noon (well...actually...High 3:00 pm)

So, the old CEO is gone, all his access to files, furniture, and future cut off. We have an acting CEO but no way could that person possibly be considered for the long term. Tomorrow, a previously seen biggie, the one who booted the previous CEO, and a new biggie, female, that nobody knows (or at least nobody at my level knows) are coming to our conference room to introduce themselves and give us all an "update". That may or may not make the refreshments that are going to be served taste better.
I'm nodding off as I write, due to 4 pieces of excellent pizza at lunch, courtesy of my direct boss, and due to having to tend the woodstove until late these cold nights.
We just watched the DVD "Why We Fight", released in 2005, and it is very good IMHO. I am buying a copy from Amazon. We already own "An Inconvenient Truth", and I bought a copy and am loaning it out for free at work.
Have Fun *:-)

Nothing has really changed...

Fact: CEO was removed and placed on administrative leave, with all access to company info, computers, phones, office space, etc., terminated.
Fact: We are to act as if the CEO is still part of the organization and we are not to say anything even suggesting improper behavior on his part because the company's lawyers are hard at work making sure there is no "come back at ya" position that the former CEO can take.
Fact: The remaining management has decided to go ahead with the holiday celebration, even though it isn't authorized, but a memo was issued that contained the words "No alchohol". DUH!
Fact: Changes will come, but we don't know what yet.
Fact: I will say my prayers for acceptance and letting go, whatever happens.
Have Fun *:-)

Emotions, Fears, Colleagues & Peace

Arghhhh. Arghhhh. Arghhh.
In my workplace pain and emotional chaos have arrived in visible full force. Our CEO was removed and put on administrative leave while being audited for a wide variety of potential abuses of position.
Tomorrow we shall all assemble in our large conference room while the Directors who remain try to explain to us what is happening, without telling too much of the truth, of course.
My fervent hope is that we do not become becalmed due to the suspended moment in leadership.
In the career I am currently occupied with once a moment to move forward is lost, it does not come again, because the recipients of my efforts change and move on, either with or without my work reaching them.
Emails arrived this weekend from management folks who do not send emails on weekends.
Some of my colleagues who are usually active on email over the weekend did not send any emails.
Googletalk has been silent. Maybe there is a big game on or something, or maybe the fairly hard rain here has brought snow to the delight of "those who ski".
I ask for help in remaining centered during what tomorrow might bring, and perhaps I can be of assistance to others who ask for it.
Peace for all, would be fine by me *:-)
Good night.

Its late...Biggies in the office today...which wore me out...

Hello (I felt like blogging "hello" because I never do). Way fatigued, barely functional, its after midnight and I have a interactive video session in the morning for work with colleagues, so this will be short. Glad the fireplace is going strong, and my love and I enjoyed watching a segment of "Slings & Arrows", which I love *:-)
Time for sleep. Cheers.

Yo...Meetings...Yo...Work...Yo...Chairs

The "biggie" is back in the office for a while, so it is meeting city. Productivity is DOWN & needs to go UP! New opportunities are OUT THERE! We all need to work SMARTER, not HARDER! *:-)

I am not motivated to get much practical work done today. I put together some bright accomplishments for our ORG today, and got them done, but not my basic "get it done" stuff. I am hoping my energy will shift into "get it done" gear soon.

So many egos, so many perspectives & opinions, so many ingrained behaviors. I feel fortunate that I am being given the awareness and opportunity to slowly change some of my behaviors so I can "do myself a favor".

The money has run out again, and so the final 8 chairs that we needed to complete one of the new conference rooms will not be ordered. I will accept orange crates in good condition, let me know *:-)

Have Fun & Take Care *:-)

Excellent day, warm fire, & Shakespeare...

Just a very excellent but cool day in the mountains of central coast California...nice. In the 20's now up here, so wood heat is the way to go and our old ironsides wood stove is doing a great job *:-) That infra-red heat just goes right into the muscles and relaxes them perfectly...love it.
Found some info on Shakespeare that I didn't know today. Shakespeare is one of my heroes, so it was good to find out that one of the things that makes him great is that EVERYONE he came in contact with, and subsequently ended up as a character in his work, was shown in the most compassionate way possible. Excellent lesson in that for me, which I will try to keep aware of.
I wish everyone a good Sunday night, and of course as good as possible a Monday *:-)

A beautiful Saturday *:-)

Nice, nice, nice. My wife got to go to several activities she likes today, and she also got to visit our recently one year old granddaughter, who happens to be a sweetie, but who fell down yesterday and scraped her nose, which means that her dad and mom won't be having the holiday family picture taken for the holiday cards after all *:-( She is fine, but is beginning to experience more of real life. I am working away to help my students succeed in the courses I am teaching, which is what I want to be doing. Also discovering that the upgrade to IE7 on one of my computers caused some HP printer executables to crash, which HP had an online fix for, but which HP did not tell me about, so it took me an hour to figure that all out. Have fun everybody *:-)

New Post to the New Format

Ok, I'm back in the saddle again. More blogging on the way after quite a tumultuos several months that required concentration elsewhere. All in the family are well, and several celebrations recently have been very pleasant and nurturing. May peace be with us all, and may those who fight daily in far off places be supported and also welcomed home soon.

University of Blueberry Syrup: More Reality

Reality:
Lots of travel. Lots of PowerPoint slide preparation. Lots of research into the digital mechanics of how the online courses work at the actual click-by-click level. Lots of 3.5 hour training sessions in high schools and university buildings across the state.

Lots of opportunity to continue practicing "letting go", as the chrysalis of the previously "all for free" educational institution moves rapidly toward the "all for fee" model, necessitated by the change downward in government spending on education, which results in internal tensions about what clients should be given and what they shouldn't.

Amazing discoveries such as "my pickup truck has cruise-control!", and such as "room service is a great idea, but sometimes the food seems to have been prepared by sycophantic dairy industry sous chefs", and such as "no matter how many times I tell the marketing guys that I must have an accurate count of attendees prior to the training, far more than are planned for show up", and such as "wow, the state I live in, and now drive through for hours at a time, is a very, very beautiful place", and such as "even people who live in wine country full time can be grouchy, selfish and stingy", and such as "the simplest hotels are the best", and such as "I am thankful that I purchase my tires from a very reputable company", and such as "the new hard tonneau cover on my pickup seems to drastically improve airflow, and my gas mileage is better too", and such as "I am no longer good at driving after dark", and such as "some gas station bathrooms are horrendous, and a few are quite nice", and such as "the new, $59 Swedish driving pillow that I use is truly helpful and has reduced the pain to zero", and such as "every once in a while I think I should use 89 octane instead of 87 octane, just to give my truck a bit of a perk, and so I do", and such as "the nurturing and protective effect of the woolen cap, mittens and scarves that my wife lovingly knits for me truly protect me on the road, and my hands do not suffer from the vibration of the road, and my neck does not get stiff from the cold air rushing past, and my head stays cozy and contained, helping me to focus".

More later...